![]() ![]() Memories are central to the development of self.Whereas acknowledging and even embracing sadness allows kids to connect to all their emotions resulting in a connection to others and a return of joy. Expecting children to be happy all the time just makes them want to run away literally. Therefore negative emotions can bring people closer. When Riley lost her hockey game and her team sought her out to comfort her, she associated joy with losing, not sadness and shame, because she had support from loved ones. The movie nicely depicts the self as being comprised of a variety of events, experiences, relationships, and places that are colored by the emotions that are associated with them. The self is made up of several components.What also happens is that the child can feel disapproved of and alone without help of an adult to process difficult and painful feelings. And besides, when parents say "don’t feel such and such," it’s too late anyway because the child already feels that way. Just get over it or pretend it’s not there." Yet that doesn’t make the feelings disappear it only makes them bigger and more problematic. Many times parents tell children, “Don’t feel angry or disappointed or even sad.” By doing this, they are basically saying, "You know that 'down' part of you? It’s not important. That always backfires, because kids need transition time just like adults and parents. Both parents expected her to adjust to school and new sports as if it were just another day in her life. Riley’s parents moved, and although her mother was sensitive at times, how Riley was feeling wasn't a priority and it should have been. In other words, don’t act like Riley’s parents. If your family is undergoing a major transition, don’t pretend you’re not.Here seven teachable messages from the movie: All emotions - positive and negative - must be experienced in order for growth to happen. You can be respectful at the same time you are “bold” on a business argument.The message is that when Riley doesn't allow herself to be anything but joyful, she can't adjust to her move. I believe challenging each other in a respectful way is a crucial part of successful organizations. + What the leader really wanted: he wanted to give his honest opinion, asking powerful questions to really take the discussion to the next level.įood for thought: would Apple be what it is today without Steve Jobs and Woz having any argument? Would Facebook be what it is today without any argument? + Consequences: You lose a leader that really “tell it like it is”, you contribute to an artificial scenario where “everything is awesome” (I call “Lego Movie” business) + Follow up action: “OMG, that’s a derailleur, let’s reprimand this individual” + Impression: “That leader had a business argument with other people” What a wonderful post Dan! Recently I was discussing that with a couple of other leaders because sometimes I’m under the impression “derailleurs” are being misunderstood and diversity of opinions are getting lost in the name of a “100% politically correct” environment. What positive role do you see for dark emotion? Note: This post is about sadness, not depression. ![]() Are you worried about a future failure? Create contingency plans, for example. Focus:įocus matters most when you experience contrasting emotions. Leaders often feel excited when things go well and worried about the next problem at the same time. You might feel sad about a failure, but hopeful about what you’re learning, for example. People feel contrasting emotion at the same time. Sadness says, “Something needs to change.”.But, there comes a point in the movie where Joy realizes Sadness plays an important role in Riley’s life. You may have felt a little proud of yourself, while watching, if you identified with Joy. If you watched the movie with a person who leans toward sadness, you probably elbowed them and whispered, “That’s you,” when Sadness appeared on the screen. In the movie, “ Inside Out,” the main characters are the emotions of a young girl named Riley. If you equate wrong with doing harm, bitterness is wrong. It’s what you do with them that counts.Īnger that becomes bitterness harms everyone it touches. The way leaders deal with dark emotion determines the direction of their leadership.įeelings, for the most part aren’t right or wrong. It’s more challenging to deal with sadness, anger, or bitterness than joy. ![]()
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